Monday, January 19, 2009

Monkey 'n New Age Bear: Goodbye Mr. President!


Hey! Excuse New Age Bear... can't handle the hard stuff too well. He's in training. Anyway, we have been having a bit of a party due to the historic nature of the fact that, respectfully, the President is going home. He's an ass. And what is up with him being all nice and stuff about Obama? Bush is HATING this. He's been running around the white house tryin' to remember where all the ass - pocket bottles of Jim Beam are. Then his wife is all like, "George, did you pack your underwear?"

We don't feel sorry for him. What? Oh... New Age Bear say's he thinks the Obama's will probably have nicer sheets. Maybe some dream-catchers... (sigh). Bear needs to get out more. Like I was saying, Bush will always be an ass. You know, he was the jerk in high school who's always tripping people and knocking books off the shelf in the library - just 'cause he doesn't like them. Then he finds some history of war book and rips out the pictures of tanks. He's all like, smoking, drinking crappy whiskey and snorting coke, drilling for oil and insulting gardeners. I know his type.

He should've been a Sizzler manager and waterboarded the dishwasher. Instead, he gets all hot over the tank pictures and marries the librarian. That's fine if he's just going to spend his life shooting nesting birds and drilling in the wilderness. But he has to go and become the freakin' PRESIDENT.

Oh, the sleepless nights (codeine cough syrup let me down) worrying about the world going up in flames 'cause of some stupid - ass nickname he gives a Russian killer, err... leader. You owe me, damn it!! I would like a pardon, but I never got caught.

But you still owe me bastard!! I want my lost sleep back! Or at least some good cough syrup and maybe a little something for New Age Bear. He likes Guatemalan Rum 'n Pine juice (WTF?) Well this is getting kind of long - but not as long as your endless reign of bullshit! Goodbye G. Bush, and your little dog too!