Most Snow Since 1968!

Happy Winter Solstice!

Winter Blue In Portland

The gloaming of a winter's eve... from the warm inside.

Extra! Extra! Djinn Genie's Dizziness Diagnosed!

Dr. Epley is most widely noted for his "Canalith Theory" as the cause of Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV), and for development of the "Epley Maneuvers" for its treatment. This treatment and the supporting concepts are regarded as one of the greatest breakthroughs in the vestibular field in the past century.

All of you familiar with A Dizzy Life know that its namesake, Djinn Genie, has suffered symptoms of vertigo and dizziness for the last year. The search for treatment and diagnosis has been frustrating - no less than four supposed medical professionals were unable to determine the cause. Recently however, serendipity stepped in and saved the day. During a Google search on all things dizzy, I came across the man above (no divine intervention implied). Dr. John Epley is a pioneer in the field of vestibular inner-ear disorders, and the inventor of a treatment known as the "Epley Maneuver." Not only is this guy world-renowned, he is based right here in Portland, OR.
After a phone interview with Epley's assistant, Djinn was scheduled immediately for evaluation. Yesterday she underwent a 5-hour series of tests and analysis with the man himself - who did what apparently no one else could: give a definitive diagnosis. She has a case of Inner- ear concussion (IEC) - the result of a fall down the stairs in Salt Lake City three years ago. A jarring of the inner- ear can cause the balance sensors to become deranged or unable to function in an organized manner. The deranged inner- ear reacts to stimuli (sound, pressure, etc.) that it would not otherwise react to, sending misinformation to the brain regarding the body's position with respect to gravity and/or directional orientation. The result can be nausea, imbalance, intermittent vertigo or some combination thereof. Cognitive problems often follow, as the patient's brain must devote an inordinate percentage of function to coping with the false messages of body and gravity orientation it receives. Symptoms typically progress slowly over a period of months - which is exactly what happened.
Djinn was also diagnosed with Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo (BPPV), due to small crystals of calcium carbonate debris which have collected within a part of the inner- ear - again the result of inner- ear trauma. This is the condition the Epley Maneuver is designed to treat. Rather than performing these movements manually, Dr. Epley has invented The Omniax - an automated, omni-axial, custom-built chair capable of moving a patient through 360 degrees in any plane and assuming any position relative to gravity. These movements reposition the crystals, allowing them to dissolve naturally. Djinn will be taking a ride on the Omnimax in about ten days. Treatment also has her on a histamine drug to facilitate healing of the damaged tissues in the inner ear.
This is fantastic news, and will likely result in a complete recovery for our beloved Djinn Genie! Yay!...
Love and happiness, GeeBee.

All These Things...

Me, Myself and Monkey would like to offer thanks to all who have visited this blog, and hope that you have found Some... Sense - or lack thereof within. There will be more, but for now I am choosing other pursuits of a less blogaspheric nature. Ideally, time would be kind and stop moving, which would be really fun... then everything could be done regardless of how long it takes (yet, long would not exist - stuff would just get done without clocks peering incessently at our progress, or lack thereof). But clocks cannot be stopped, therefore I must choose what to do under their relentless and unchangable face.
Art of a different sort is calling, so I intend to scribble things other than words. If they become presentable, I will post them here. Music also calls, so I will hear it - less from the speakers and more from my beautiful (thank you Djinn!!) Gibson acoustic guitar. These things will take rather large and unpredictable amounts of time to become what they shoud be, which ultimately will enable me to become what I am.
Impressionable new-age bear would know what I mean. In his post-to-be, which you will have to picture in your own minds, is basically this: He discovers self-help books and becomes so entranced by them that he has an epiphany. He discovers that what he does best is finding out what he is really good at - which turns out to be just that. He can discover new and more engaging self-help books and discover new ways of pusuing the search that is his true calling. You rock new-age bear!
Peace and happiness in the pusuit of peace and happiness to you all. Love, GeeBee.

Snapdragon with self-portrait (and shirts) by Apricot Blossom.

Had to post this because it is a lovely portrait of girls not currently in residence, (Christmas is coming up!). Somehow dadaesque and realist at the same time. Nicely done.

David Crosby & Graham Nash "Traction In The Rain" 1971

Because it's from 1971 - a watershed year for music in many ways. And because David Crosby had one of the better voices of his generation. Because these Martin guitars are to die for (well, to pay a hell of a lot for these days), and because some people just do their best work when they're young. Besides, the song is pretty good.

Panic In Detroit.

Could the SUV be the new house? Looks pretty cushy in there. For mail delivery, just crack the rear window.

Jimi Hendrix Experience: Mitch Mitchell Found Dead.

The Jimi Hendrix Experience's last surviving member, Mitch Mitchell, has died in rainy Portland, Oregon. He had stayed on for a short vacation after ending a tour here on Friday night. He has apparantly died of natural causes at age 61. Check out his skills on the drums in the clip below. Peace.

New Dog In Town.

I can't believe it. That damn fool Bush had a Terrier in the White House? Scottish my ass... was he vetted? I'd like to see his birth certificate, I'll bet you "Barney" is a code name. He's a spy. That's how we know all the stupid things Bush said in private meetings. I'll bet my last bone Barney was in the room when Bush choked on that pretzel. Did he run for help? Hell no! I'll bet he was getting a few pretzels in before security showed up. I know his breed - they're all out for themselves. If I were in the White House, none of this would've happened. I'd have him for lunch.
Now, this new breed coming in say they're "looking for a shelter dog." Great. We all know the kind of lazy, looking-for-a-handout, can't find a bone, welfare loving mutts they are. We need a dog with some pedigree, a purebred - someone with experience. Not a barking Liberal. I'll tell you what, if it were up to me I'd get a Reagan-era Spaniel like Rex. Now there was a dog - he sat at the table with William F. Buckley! I guess the best I can hope for is a moderate. Maybe a Beagle. Just make sure he's vetted - and don't let him go shopping!

Diatribe!

I like this word a bunch. Some Greeks used to do this like Americans like to watch baseball. Pastime - discourse: original meaning was to spend... but they weren't talking Nordstrom Rack. Spending time chatting. It's not that different from hanging at the bar, but with the TV off. I've got a two-for-one Sarah Palin hangover, so the TV is way OFF!
I'm thinking of doing this regularly, like toast. Once a day maybe, with butter. Anyway, I've been hearing some weird things on the news since that guy got elected. Like AC/DC is back! That little guy must be hyper - he's like a baboon on crack! A skinny little baboon in velvet shorts. They like to open car doors and run off with stuff. You rock little baboons!
I was going to Diatribe about something... Oh yeah. The redistribution of wealth. I did some reading and figured out what this means, but I'm really confused. When did they distribute it? When did this happen? It's not in any of your books. Is it like communion or something? (I don't understand that AT ALL) You line up to get crackers? I guess sometimes they have wine, but I can get that at Trader Joe's. I guess Jesus liked wine and crackers, but he wasn't happy about wealth. Did he distribute it? What kind of cheese did they have back then?
So, this wealth got passed around sometime. Aren't those people all dead? Is it like reruns, when they show "Get Smart" really late. I love that show, 99 was hot. Do the same people have money now that had it then? That must be why there's still churches and Popes and stuff. That guy got a bunch of the wealth - he's got a car named after him. The Pope-Mobile. Kind of a dumb name, but it's cool. Who makes that anyway? Is it a Volkswagon with a Pope-Mobile body? I hope not. It's probably one of those badass Italian cars with a bunch of plexiglass all over it. Like a wolf wearing a sheep, or something.
I think this wealth should be redistributed. The Pope doesn't need any more stupid cars. Some people are crazy with their money. Do poodles need a chef? That's like me having a bartender... cool. But I can do it myself! There are people who don't even have a glass! C'mon, pass that bottle around. What are these rich people afraid of. Everyone needs to get real and go to IKEA. You can get crap there for next to nothing, plus they have stuffed rodents. I guess this Diatribe has gone on a little long, but it's serious. We're all going down, so why not give everyone a little something before they go. It's two-for-one Goldshlager night. C'mon Pope. Drinks on me!

You Can't Do That With a CD.

See more here: Sleevefaces

The Greatest Racket Ever Made.

The Who at Tanglewood, New York 1970. Even thru little dinky computer speakers, the incredible interplay between these blokes is overpowering. Doesn't exist in the modern world as we know it.

Monkey Gives Parting Advice.

I'm the first to admit I'm not the smartest Monkey. I was actually passed out on the couch when this report came on Fox News that you didn't know Africa was a continent. What the %$#@!! I came to on the floor (not that unusual, but still...) Don't they have schools in Alaska?
If you are indeed retarded, I feel bad... sort of. But why did you pretend to be a human who knows things? You will never catch me doing something like that.
So, now that you're going home, I'd like to give a little advice. Get one of these book things. They have stuff in there that can make you smarter. Don't let anyone interview you EVER. Quit pretending to look at other countries (or continents, whatever) next door to you. Stay inside, don't answer the phone, steer clear of the booze, take long naps and pretend none of this ever happened (Valium is good). Oh, and send back ALL the clothes. And if you wanna sell that Maverick (black one with the eight-track), call me. It's been fun. But not as fun as two-for-one hot-toddy night! Gotta go, the kettle's boiling.

Yeah Baby!

Hang on Monkey Jr.

Things are looking up...

My Vote for Best Political Satire.

Click this link here.

Won't Get Fooled Again.

I used to think this song was just an amazing example of how to use an A chord better than anyone ever could. It's all in the little finger on the fifth fret adding those two top notes to the bottom three. Of course the effect is much greater with several hundred watts of electricity, but it still comes through on this lovely acoustic version.
At some point it struck me that it was about the revolutionary dreams (fantasies) of the sixties, crashing head on into reality. History tells the tale; leaders fall and the oppressed become the oppressors. At the time, rock music was rife with songs promising an easy take-over of the status-quo. The Doors sang "The old get old and the young get stronger\ may take a week and it may take longer\ they got the guns but we got the numbers\ gonna win yeah were takin over\ Come on!"
Jefferson Airplane were only slightly less subtle with: "Volunteers of America... Gotta Revolution!" Crosby Stills Nash & Young were suitably outraged with "Four dead in Ohio... Gotta get down to it, soldiers are hunting us down, should've been done long ago."
Things got ugly at the 1968 Democratic convention when Chicago police, at the orders of Mayor Daley, brutally beat protesting hippies within inches of their lives.
John Lennon wrote his song "Revolution" with the great line "If you want money for people with minds that hate, all I can tell you is brother you'll have to wait." Of course, John being the abstractionist he was followed that with "When you talk about destruction, don't you know that you can count me out/in." Hard core activists were pissed that the Beatles were so uncommitted to the cause. Cheers Beatles! Anyway, Pete Townshend saw through the crap and put it all into perspective. Still a timeless song, and never too late to change things through peaceful means. Don't forget to VOTE!

Word From GeeBee.

Being the last week of the fantastical everlasting election, there is little time left for being a smart-ass on the subject. This may actually be an insight (everything here is an insight into SOMETHING). I put forth the observation that John McCain doesn't want to win the election. He has figured out at some point that he is better off out 'o the White House than in it. At the very least he could've tried harder - and possibly even sabotaged his own campaign with a series of stupid decisions. If you really want to win, do you let your advisors talk you out of the running mate you really believe in, and agree instead to choose a complete disaster? When a national emergency pops up, do you act all crazy and cancel your campaign to join a bunch of your old cronies who actually don't like you very much and contribute nothing, while your opponent drops in to offer smart input and keeps his schedule the next day? Do you call total strangers "my friend" every two seconds like a creepy insurance salesman? Then when you are completely out of ideas, you rename your campaign after a guy named Joe? And remind everyone in the country that they might need to call a plumber someday? How inspiring is that?? These are the actions of a man who just wants to get the hell out of town and kick back with some of that beer money. Maybe even look back and laugh at how silly the whole debacle was. Good luck on Tuesday John McCain - you've earned it.

Monkey On "One Party Rule."

As you should know by now, I'm a huge fan of the party - always have been. I've supported it, and will continue to support it until I fall over. For this reason, and some others, I've decided that this "one party rule" is a good thing. First of all, two parties in the house is just confusing. You're always thinking, "Hey, I wonder if I should check out the other party?" That's time wasted when you could be getting MORE wasted! I don't know about you, but I am always losing my drink and picking up the wrong one. I hate that, 'specially when some moron puts his cigarette out in his drink. That's what ashtrays are for IDIOT! Two parties is just stupid. I would have to get another stereo, another copy of "Back In Black", and probably a change of clothes. I say let's have one party, and just make it bigger!

Spot the Monkey!

Allie AKA Snapdragon sports a monkey. Is that legal in Utah?

Strike, uh... OUT!

Crikey! I Learned this in 9th grade!

Monkey's Defining Moment.

When I'm trying to chill-out late at night, these nutty news guys with human hair start saying stuff and I'm all "What the *%$@#"? Last night I kept hearing "The Elite" this and "The Elite" that. I guess these "Elitists" are the reason John McCain is not looking very good - but I thought it was because he's old and weird. Anyway, I got tired of feeling dumb, so I got out the big book to figure it out. Now I'm more confused than I was before happy hour yesterday. Here's what I found out : " The elite — a select group of people with outstanding personal abilities, intellect, wealth, specialized training or experience, or other distinctive attributes — are those whose views on a matter are to be taken the most seriously or carry the most weight; whose views and/or actions are most likely to be constructive to society as a whole; or whose extraordinary skills, abilities or wisdom render them especially fit to govern." So, whose s'possed to be President? The news guys are called "Media Elitists", but I'm not voting for a guy with hair like that. So is Obama the Elitist? If he is, then he's the guy who knows what's up! McCain must be further gone than I thought. I'm going to have a few cocktails and call Sarah Palin. At least she say's dumb stuff I can understand.

Impressionable New Age Bear!

Hey! It's great to be here! SO much has happened! I found out about MUSIC! It's amazing! I really like "Fireflies Unplugged," but my favorite right now is called "Hooked on Himalayas." It's by a bunch of Tibetan Chipmunks who chant and fly around. It's cool. I'm learning how to be a DJ and make remixes. I've got this one called "Music for Snacking"," it's organic! ... maybe vegan, I'm not sure. Anyway, it has sounds of ants at a picnic mixed with tofu. It's weird. I'm working on another one with frogs and chainsaws, called "Sounds of Nature." I'd like to get one that has sounds of pine needles falling, then I could listen to it in the woods to relax. I have to go take a nap now. See you later!

Angry Conservative Bulldog.

Am I the last real Conservative? Damn those aisle-cross-dressing Republicans! They are as bad as brie-eating poodles with Perrier in their water bowls. Give me a hambone and a rain-puddle any day. And those Liberal Condo dogs just want to coddle Terriers. They don't get it! If those Poodles and Dachshunds don't like it here they can go back where they came from - and take your silly pink sweaters with you! Same goes for those freeloading Chihuahuas. Why should we pay for them to have puppies and eat Tacos while the rest of us chase squirrels and eat crap? I say we send all those whining lap dogs off to fight Terriers and Hounds in Afghanistan! I'm staying right here in my own back yard where it's safe.

Ridiculous Englishman Caught in Brambles.

Local nobleman and useless heir Dimson "Haffy" Halfbright was found stuck in a bramble bush this evening at about half-past six. Discovered by a passing barmaid on her way to work at the Battered Budgie, Haffy was eventually pryed out with a cricket bat. "He was well stuck," she said, "an' he weren't goin' anywhere like that, all stuck an' all." A Badger, on his way to the Budgie for the first of at least twenty-eight pints of lager, spotted the hapless Haffy and barmaid from the road and quickly saw that action was required - or he would be looking at a long wait at the Pub, parched and ill-tempered. "I don' like to wait," claimed the Badger. Taking matters into his own paw, Badger broke into a shed and grabbed an old cricket bat. "I shoved it under his bum an' he screeched like my dinner," said Badger, "after 'while he just flew out the bush like an old shoe." Haffy, Badger and bat were soon retired to the Budgie for restorative purposes.

Night at Home, or Mormons at the Door.

Picture if you will a scene of domestic bliss involving yours truly - GeeBee in the kitchen preparing a simple meal of spicy Italian pasta; Bob Dylan on the stereo, a glass of Spanish red wine in hand. Knock, knock upon the front door - a quick glance reveals some boys in suits. Instantly suspicious, I remark to the sage mathematician Elizabeth: "I'm not answering... they're Mormons" Well, guess what? My jest turned out to be the truth. I quickly busied myself with chopping a Jalapeno while the unsuspecting missionaries were led into the living room. From a safe distance I hear Elizabeth happily announce, "You have 20 minutes to convert me - starting now. GO!" Genie came into the kitchen and gleefully remarked that Elizabeth had the situation well in hand... I agreed that it seemed the perfect cat playing with the mice scenario. A bit of sport before dinner. Respectful but animated banter ensued - well not so much banter as feeble attempts to respond to challenges involving equations and carbon dating. Loopholes were unraveled, history exposed like torn undergarments, horrible blows dealt with nary a drop of blood spilled - no clean-up required. Then, as the spicy sauce reached a high-simmer, Genie went in to finish off the softened targets. Next thing I knew they were on the porch trying to make their getaway while Genie offered kind reminders that they will one day have to answer for their opposition to gay rights - just as racists did to opposing civil rights. All in time for dinner and the debate, thank God.

Monkey Gives a Shout-Out.

Not only did this Monkey sneak into a McCain rally - he's wearing an OBAMA sticker! You rock little Monkey! That fat guy isn't the smartest human...

Ridiculous Englishman's Diary Discovered in Bramble Bush.

A diary belonging to British Nobleman Dimson "Haffy" Halfbright Esq.,has turned up under a bramble bush in Custard-On- Crumble. It was found by a Badger on his way home from the Pub.
Thought to be residing somewhere nearby in rustic Turning Green, Esq. Halfbright, heir to the county seat and various useless titles, including Earl of Little-Thort-On-Wye and Baron of Brokenbarrow has yet to appear to claim his diary. The Badger has reluctantly given it up to the local authorities for a biscuit and a very nice cheese of unspecified origin.
There appears to be some interest in the contents of said diary, especially as it was never thought that "Haffy" had it in him to compose a sentence. At least three residents and a postman have expressed mild interest in seeing a page or two of it over a pint.
Local law requires that the original owner of item(s) recovered from bramble bushes must appear within a reasonable amount of time unless otherwise engaged in something respectable that would prevent them from appearing. If they choose not to bother, the item(s) will be exhibited in plain sight at the bar of The Battered Budgie, for all to see. The only exception is if said item(s) turn out to be soiled undergarments, in which case the whole thing is quickly forgotten as if nothing happened.
If all goes well, the diary should be tossed about freely before closing time.

Bad Poetry Found In Book!

I pulled out an old book tonight, and a single sheet of note paper fell to the floor. I was horrified and elated to discover an attempt at topical poetry, written in my own hand. A few clues date it from the early Reagan era.

"I'm Not Buyin'"

I'm not buyin' car insurance, disco records, carpeted wall-to-wall split-level-condo
I'm not buyin' Reader's Digest, Dianetics, automatic room-deodorizer - Oh no
I'm not buyin' frozen meals, or your ideals, or any coupon-book of half-off two-for-one deals
When I'm relaxing at home and you call me on the phone
I know you're lyin' and you're tryin' - but I'm not buyin'!
I'm not buyin' a multi-color two-piece jogging suit
or a dog with a haircut you might think is cute
I'm not buyin' headlines meant to scare me
or 24-hour cable access meant to bore me
The government is tryin', the Virgin Mary's cryin'
Business is good, actin' like we should
We're the best, so screw the rest
Just say no... why ask why... 'cause I won't buy!

Monkey Takes Credit For Palin Performance.

What ya got under the hood baby? Have you ever blasted "Back In Black" with the eight track on eleven? Oops, forgot you believe in a talking snake... "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida*" honey!! Well, I'll see you on election night. Time to get on the "Highway To Hell" Cheers!
PS. I hope the check's in the mail, 'cause it's a long way from Alaska and two-for-one Spanish Coffee night is coming up.
* Drug-addled pronunciation of "In The Garden Of Eden."

Monkey's Words of Advice to Sarah Palin.

I'm not the smartest Monkey, but I have some experience. Look, it's not too late to call in sick. I've done it lots of times. Just say you had some food poisoning. Blame it on Dominoes, or Jack-In-The-Box... do they have those in Alaska? Or, you could say the moose ate your debate primer. If I were you, I'd just party it up and pass out on TV. Jagermeister and painkillers should do the trick, call me. Hey, I like the Maverick, does it have an eight-track?

Sarah Palin Debates Chocolate Hammer. Hammer WINS!

We have chocolate in Alaska! And hammers! It's not like we're a foreign country... I have a whole toolbox!! It's like a microcosm of tools up there! I can see Putin's hammer, and I'm ready! I'm a Maverick, it has the original faux-wood on the dashboard!









Someone get me a candy cigarette.

Murray Hears Of Bailout Failure - Turns Green, Loses Cigarette.

Murray Eelestein Comments on Economic Crisis.

"Oy vay, SELL, SELL, SELL!!!"

Republican Says: Stop the Nonsense!

Nebraska Republican Sen. Chuck Hagel said his party's vice presidential nominee, Sarah Palin, lacks foreign policy experience and called it a "stretch" to say she's qualified to be president.
"She doesn't have any foreign policy credentials," Hagel said in an interview published Thursday by the Omaha World-Herald. "You get a passport for the first time in your life last year? I mean, I don't know what you can say. You can't say anything."
Could Palin lead the country if GOP presidential nominee John McCain could not?
"I think it's a stretch to, in any way, to say that she's got the experience to be president of the United States," Hagel said.
McCain and other Republicans have defended Palin's qualifications, citing Alaska's proximity to Russia. Palin told ABC News, "They're our next-door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska."
Hagel took issue with that argument. "I think they ought to just be honest about it and stop the nonsense about, 'I look out my window and I see Russia and so therefore I know something about Russia,'" he said. "That kind of thing is insulting to the American people."

Oversimplifications Made Simple.

Remember Monopoly? It has rules, you take turns, when you go broke you're OUT. When you want something, you have to pay for it with REAL FAKE MONEY, and in exchange you get REAL FAKE PROPERTY. This used to mirror reality; now, our REAL economy is more like Charades combined with Twister and Pick-Up-Sticks. But you have to play drunk and blindfolded. What happened? Greedy wall street brokers?? Sure... but not really. It all started with drunk blindfolded Congressman Phil Gramm, who pushed through legislation in 1999, which modernized Depression-era laws separating banking, insurance and brokerage activities. These laws were put in place to protect the economy from crazy drunk blindfolded financial dealings. But without those laws, guess what happened? Monopoly rules went out the window! Instead of just buying properties and loading up with hotels (too limiting) why not mortgage everything, keep the properties and still collect the rent. Not a problem, you're winning. Let the banker in on the deal too, he can sell the debt owed on the mortgaged properties owned by the bank. The bank can get INSURANCE, just in case you don't win and can't pay. That's fine, you can get insurance too... that way you won't have to pay if you don't win. But that's too limiting. Why not use other players' money to get MORE debt and sell it to more people, even people who don't know they're playing! But even they don't have to worry, because PARKER BROTHERS, who own the rights to Monopoly, has insurance too! They will cover most of your losses in case the dog destroys the game and eats most of the money. But guess what? The broker turned out to be a loser who couldn't pay the bank, the bank claimed a loss the insurance couldn't cover, and Parker Brothers had to make a claim to the insurance company, who couldn't cover the losses. So the dog had to take over. But, according to Nietzsche, there is no dog.

Lovely Night in the Neighborhood.

Monkey Interviews Sarah Palin.

The following interview contains actual statements unedited. Monkey and Sara Palin stand by their words.


Monkey: "Let me ask you about the Bridge. So... it doesn't go anywhere, really? Is that because Alaska is melting? I'm guessing it started out going somewhere, but by the time you got it done, the place had melted."

Palin: "I told the Congress "thanks, but no thanks," for that Bridge to Nowhere. If our state wanted a bridge, we'd build it ourselves."


Monkey: "That's cool. So you were like "no thanks... take the money and give it back to the taxpayers!" Awesome. That must have helped alot of poor people. So you are really like Robin Hood! In pantyhose! "

Palin: "As for my running mate, you can be certain that wherever he goes, and whoever is listening, John McCain is the same man."

Monkey: "You look kind of crazy right now."

Palin: "America needs more energy ... our opponent is against producing it."

Monkey: "Wow. I'm kind of shocked. I'm for energy, it's alot of fun. Are you sure you aren't lying like a lying crack whore?"

Impressionable New Age Bear!

It's so great to be back in the USA! Wow, I'd like to thank Miguel and Miguel for saving me. Yeah! They turned out to be really famous CIA agents. Their names are actually Gary. It turns out they were just PRETENDING to be rebels, to like, confuse the REAL rebels. I guess the Garys have a lot to do in Guatemala, they get a million dollars a week and they have donkeys to pull the money around. It's pretty cool. I got to come back with them in a black helicopter, but it was really crowded with stuff. I had to sit on this big bag of powder. My butt was numb! The best part was we didn't have to check our bags or go through the metal detectors and stuff like that. I'm not going anywhere for awhile. I'll probably make some banana bread and take a mineral bath. See you later!

Djinn Genie and Sunflower.

Lovely Day in the Neighborhood.