Diatribe!

I like this word a bunch. Some Greeks used to do this like Americans like to watch baseball. Pastime - discourse: original meaning was to spend... but they weren't talking Nordstrom Rack. Spending time chatting. It's not that different from hanging at the bar, but with the TV off. I've got a two-for-one Sarah Palin hangover, so the TV is way OFF!
I'm thinking of doing this regularly, like toast. Once a day maybe, with butter. Anyway, I've been hearing some weird things on the news since that guy got elected. Like AC/DC is back! That little guy must be hyper - he's like a baboon on crack! A skinny little baboon in velvet shorts. They like to open car doors and run off with stuff. You rock little baboons!
I was going to Diatribe about something... Oh yeah. The redistribution of wealth. I did some reading and figured out what this means, but I'm really confused. When did they distribute it? When did this happen? It's not in any of your books. Is it like communion or something? (I don't understand that AT ALL) You line up to get crackers? I guess sometimes they have wine, but I can get that at Trader Joe's. I guess Jesus liked wine and crackers, but he wasn't happy about wealth. Did he distribute it? What kind of cheese did they have back then?
So, this wealth got passed around sometime. Aren't those people all dead? Is it like reruns, when they show "Get Smart" really late. I love that show, 99 was hot. Do the same people have money now that had it then? That must be why there's still churches and Popes and stuff. That guy got a bunch of the wealth - he's got a car named after him. The Pope-Mobile. Kind of a dumb name, but it's cool. Who makes that anyway? Is it a Volkswagon with a Pope-Mobile body? I hope not. It's probably one of those badass Italian cars with a bunch of plexiglass all over it. Like a wolf wearing a sheep, or something.
I think this wealth should be redistributed. The Pope doesn't need any more stupid cars. Some people are crazy with their money. Do poodles need a chef? That's like me having a bartender... cool. But I can do it myself! There are people who don't even have a glass! C'mon, pass that bottle around. What are these rich people afraid of. Everyone needs to get real and go to IKEA. You can get crap there for next to nothing, plus they have stuffed rodents. I guess this Diatribe has gone on a little long, but it's serious. We're all going down, so why not give everyone a little something before they go. It's two-for-one Goldshlager night. C'mon Pope. Drinks on me!