Monkey Gives Parting Advice.

I'm the first to admit I'm not the smartest Monkey. I was actually passed out on the couch when this report came on Fox News that you didn't know Africa was a continent. What the %$#@!! I came to on the floor (not that unusual, but still...) Don't they have schools in Alaska?
If you are indeed retarded, I feel bad... sort of. But why did you pretend to be a human who knows things? You will never catch me doing something like that.
So, now that you're going home, I'd like to give a little advice. Get one of these book things. They have stuff in there that can make you smarter. Don't let anyone interview you EVER. Quit pretending to look at other countries (or continents, whatever) next door to you. Stay inside, don't answer the phone, steer clear of the booze, take long naps and pretend none of this ever happened (Valium is good). Oh, and send back ALL the clothes. And if you wanna sell that Maverick (black one with the eight-track), call me. It's been fun. But not as fun as two-for-one hot-toddy night! Gotta go, the kettle's boiling.